.​.​.​and all the colors have faded to gray

by means to an end

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recorded at the traphouse during march/april of 2012 in pittsburgh, pa.
mastered by steve roche at permanent hearing damage in philadelphia, pa.


released December 5, 2012



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means to an end Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: hour of consciousness
expectations of reciprocation, obligation to exasperation, deconstruction of desperation, consider this a resignation. every act of kindness is another bullet in the chamber of a gun forced into the mouth of a good samaritan. one more "i will" and the trigger is pulled. sentenced to life as a means to an end; deserving the fate, embracing the chains. appeal the routine, routinely denied - turn to face the boulder again. one must imagine sisyphus happy.
Track Name: call of the void
we want out. chasing dreams only brings nightmarish realities. comfort lies in the familiarity of the void. the risk of joy brings unnecessary uncertainties - the risk of falling off the last foothold. the light at the end of the tunnel illuminates nothing. through fading hopes and dying hearts, we live this life entrenched in doubt. embrace the pain with outstretched arms. we just want out.
Track Name: ...and which is lost
unending conspiracy to deafen my conscience. the redundancy of stuttering voices in my head haunting like the dreaded memory of fading shadows. sought after from afar, but there's no one there. i'm a drowning drone in the arms of sleep.
Track Name: imperfections of growth and decay
years spent mimicking the patterns. meanings never carried through. taught to the test, left behind with failure. static tremor - reaching out to touch only empty space; living repelled by the sense of disjunction, distortion, discomfort. let the waves come: crush the concrete, smooth the imperfections, lay down the path and recede - no static remains.
Track Name: flaws of expectations
i have seen the fault in wanting more for myself. i'm nothing. just don't leave me alone.
Track Name: for david
everything past - an infinite loop; the timelessness the only constant. a choking breath, screaming out loud - final release from the cycle of nothing. stepping on the broken glass to remind myself of all the fragments. it's not fair. everything that wasn't said you can never hear. now i know the truest words, but you're nothing now, just a grave. come back.
Track Name: westwind
cut. tear. grind. burn. crush. flatten. pave. so the cancer grows. streets connect dying cells. families bred in tumors. plagues of prefabricated malignant mutations. broken arms of trees collapse. fields disciplined into lawns, backyards. artificially inseminated plastic-scapes. green dissolves into brown. one step closer to dusk, one step closer to self-strangulation. the clock strikes midnight - not with a bang, but a whimper.
Track Name: you bury me
encapsulated in a turquoise day, golden laces coil around every segment. watching the clock in hope that not one more minute passes by. all that can be done - grasp for a moment slipping away. but it always returns, always haunting with its visage. surrounded by an alienated past, unable to reconnect to the original. appear as a ghost, condemned to watching, never feeling ...and all the colors have faded to gray.